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Assigning places at the table
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| When you decide to invite a large number of people to dinner, it is always a good idea to work out beforehand where people are going to be seated. This spares your guests the embarrassment of not knowing where to sit, especially if they don't already know one another. It's obviously very useful to use place markers bearing your guests' names. If the dinner is formal, you could use silver place markers with small cards displaying each guest's name. There are all sorts of great ideas for dinners involving younger guests, everything from writing people's names with a gold or silver felt pen on a leaf (real or made from paper) to a little trinket that has been custom-selected to somehow evoke the personality or special traits of each guest. |
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When is comes to guidelines for determining who should sit where at the table, once again after nearly five hundred years, it's that Italian classic book on etiquette, "Il Galateo", that one still turns to for the best advice. The rules found in this guide were developed with the intention of fostering lively conversation among dinner guests and they are just as valid today as ever, especially if the dinner happens to be a formal affair.
You should alternate men and women guests and avoid seating married couples next to or across from one another. Each guest is accorded due respect, but it's only natural to give more attention to the people who have been invited for the first time. If the table is rectangular, the host and hostess should sit at the head and opposite end of the table, the lady of the house taking the end closest to the kitchen. The host's seat should always be in the strategically most important place, imbuing him with the authority of a commanding position facing the principal entry into the dining room.
On their immediate right you should seat the most important gentleman and lady (everyone is free to determine the criteria for evaluating such status, although tradition dictates that among people of equal social standing, the most prestigious seats should go to the oldest guests). Then you continue by alternating men and women, always bearing in mind that relatives, younger people and friends with whom you have the most familiar, closest relationships should be seated furthest away from the host. These guidelines apply in situations where there are only six to ten guests. In cases involving more numerous guests, all seated at the same large table, the places nearest the center of the table are to be considered the places of honor.
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